Losing your Virginity - My Advice

I know what your like right now, woah Makayla why are you attacking such a scary topic..

Let me tell you why

I wish i had someone there for me to tell me this when i was considering losing mine, and i lost it to early. At the time i thought it was the only way to take the next step in our relationship. When i was 13 i met a boy, and we ended up being together for over a year and a half. Nearing the end of our relationship he told me that the only way i could make him happy was if i would give it to him, and i did.

I lost mine way to early, to this day i am still very unhappy with what happened, and very sad that i let it happen. Now i have to live with my choice. So please please take the time to think about yours

Losing your virginity is a big thing, it's opening a door to a world of excitement and wonder and connection beyond what you thought was ever possible. With the right person. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with waiting. I encourage it because it may seem right at the time, but when you look back and it and you remember that little doubt in the back of your mind telling you that maybe it wasn't a good idea you would be wanting to listen to it. I have a few ground rules that i tend to work by, when talking to my younger friends about this topic

1. Respect

       - Whomever you are thinking of giving it to make sure they show you a huge amount of respect, because at the end of the day you are putting your body in their hands. You need to make sure that they respect you as a person before you let them experience you further, with no respect, no sex. end of story.

2. Love

  - Yes yes i know it's a big word but it's true. You will know it when you feel it, there will be no doubts in your mind. You would do anything for the other person, anything even if you had to sacrifice yourself to make them more happy you would. You need to make sure you love them, and they love you back in the same degree that you love them. No love, no sex. That's the way it works

3. Trust

    - This rule goes hand in hand with love. Without trust there should be no question. You are trusting this person with your body, and your emotions. Because those articles that you read that tell you you bond with a person you have sex with are true, and they are hard to break. So you need to trust the person you are giving it to, trust that they won't leave you once they get it, trust that they will respect your privacy and trust that they will take care of you. No trust, no sex.

4. Responsibility

    - After you have determined that you have all of the above then comes the discussing. You two need to discuss what you will do if pregnancy occurs, the methods of birth control you will be using and the safety of the sex. No discussing, no plan, no sex.

I run by my Three methods of protection. Birth control for the female, birth control for the male, and birth control for the mind.

Birth control for the mind what ?

If you are 100% set on keeping it safe you will, you won't say oh you can go in without a condom this one time it won't hurt. Nor can you say, oh ill just take my pill later. This is your responsibility.

Even if you meet all of the rules above and still have a doubt in your mind DON'T DO IT, trust me you will regret it. If he doesn't understand then he didn't deserve you in the first place. You need to make the choice that is right for you, not that is right for him. You are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life. So you need to make sure you are happy with yourself. When the right time, and the right guy come along you will know and you will be able to make that decision with no doubts in your mind. Trust me. I fully heartedly believe that the more information and the more people talk about it the more responsible us teenagers will be with our body. If we know what we are dealing with through the teachings of others and our parents it is less likely to make a mistake than those who have not been exposed to enough information.

If you want to talk privately to me about this topic feel free to email me at makaylahigham@gmail.com i will be happy to answer any of your questions or discuss it on a more personal level ! 

Disclaimer: I do not claim to be an expert nor a doctor, i know this is a very avoided topic of conversation but someone needs to talk about it or else no one will.

Stay Majestic *