Guys vs Girls - Making the First Move

Hello internet!

Miss has asked me to think of some things that, as a guy, I don’t understand about girls. So in this new segment I will attempt to outline, and more than likely fervently rant, about some of the things that guys don’t get about girls, some of the things that simply confuse us, and maybe even some of the things that scare us, turn us off, or even send us running for the hills.

My topic for today is making the first move.

Now this post may be controversial for many, so let me explain myself a little better right off the bat. I am a definite supporter of chivalry. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, lending jackets, all of that cheesy romantic comedy stuff. I’m also a ballroom dancer and I've certainly learned the importance of leading and how to do so. But life is not a romantic comedy and it’s not a dance either, at least, not literally. So here’s where we get to my topic.

Making the first move. It should always be the guy’s responsibility right? My answer to that: why? Now just hear me out. I understand that this is the expectation, and a lot of times I don’t have a problem with it, but I’d like to argue that girls can make the first move too and encourage them to do so!

Let me first respond to what is probably the most common argument to what I've just said. Also let me clarify I don’t necessarily mean asking a person out, just making the initial move. It could be as simple as starting a conversation, or if it’s with someone more familiar like a friend, suggesting something more.

The argument:  If the guy hasn't made a move already, he isn't interested.

My first response to this is that guys are stupid. We really are. Women spend more time thinking about what men are thinking than men actually spend thinking. I approve that message completely. There are lots of reasons the guy might not have made a move yet. He could be rather shy, not sure you’re available, convinced you’re not interested in him, or any other variety of reasons really.

Not everyone is searching for and evaluating people a potential romantic partner every moment of every interaction and conversation and this is especially true for guys. Sometimes we simply don’t notice things because we didn't really think about it!

Now let me emphasize one of those points: they might be convinced you’re not interested in them. This happens a lot more than you might think. Playing hard to get is all well and good (this will be a whole other topic I assure you) but if the guy has no idea you’re interested, why would he make a move? Guys don’t like rejection any more than girls do, so unless we’re overly confident (pronounced douchebag) or have a particularly thick skin, we’re not likely to make a move unless we think we have a reasonable chance of success.

So here’s what I am proposing. Girls can make the first move too! Really, it’s okay! Many of us will be pleasantly surprised! At the very least we’ll be flattered. Now I’m not saying you should walk up to a guy and buy him a drink (although wouldn't that be a hell of a way to get his attention?). But don’t be afraid to start a conversation. Say hi, give us a smile or a wave, sit next to us in class. We’re not too bright sometimes, so give us a little hint that you’re interested. That’s all we need.

Now for you particularly bold ladies, asking us out is perfectly acceptable for most guys too. It might be a bit awkward, we’re not exactly used to it, but I assure you it’s charming in the end. It might even be necessary for those of us who simply don’t seem to get the hint.

I've heard far too many girls complain that they like a guy so much but he doesn't notice them, or won’t ask them out, or something to that effect. I say again, we’re not very smart. If you like him then put a little something into it from your end, that’s all we ask. Compromise with us ladies. You’d be surprised how much you might get back by giving just a little.

That’s my opinion on the topic. Read on to see the reply from Miss.

See you soon,

Michael Cadence



         To start , I can verify that yes, Michael is the soppy romantic type of dude ! Also I can say that he does know his way around leading a lady, considering that I am his dance partner (ooh plot twist). Which makes me wonder why he stands at the position he does. So since you like the " Romantic Comedy type romances" why don't you make it real life ? Sweep a girl off her feet, chase after her to the airport and ask her to marry you type cheesy romantic stuff. MAKE IT REAL LIFE BRO! Every girl is waiting for that guy in her life to make the first move, show that interest, not in a creepy lets go screw way, but in a " I'd really like to get to know you, let's go for coffee". So same goes for the male species. Yes I heard you tell me you are stupid ( which I do not object to) but you have a sense of romance in there. So use it !
   
         Contrary to what I said previously on all other accounts I agree 10000000% with the point Michael is trying to make. For a few reasons: First, boys are stupid, they don't understand that we want them to say what we think just in a deeper voice ! Okay let's back up. I was totally kidding about that last statement, though it does have a fragment of truth in it. I wholeheartedly believe that the male species are not very perceptive. We give them clues through our body language, or the amount we are sending them messages and using smiley faces, even through the glances we send them and what we are telling them with their eyes. There are so many times that I thought I made it so obvious and they STILL didn't catch on. Honestly I don't understand, I don't think I ever will though Michael makes points explaining this. I still stand on my opinion, it's really not that hard.

          His point also about the fact that men don't look at women like a potential partner every single time they meet one is enlightening. I must say that when I find myself single as a pringle every guy I meet I almost look at like a candidate. I know not everyone does this, but a lot of us do. Yes i'm looking at you over there, I know your secret. It's almost as if I have a list in my head and I'm watching them seeing if they are a worthy topic to invest my interest in. So now ladies we have been told, men don't do this, so what should we take from that ? Make it super obvious ? Or play it cool and see if he catches the hints ? It's a never ending mystery.

      Now getting to the meat of his point. I am a personally supporter on making the first move. The way I got my Mister was through a process of introducing myself for one, saying hello A LOT until he started saying it first, offering to take the bus with him, asking for his number, asking him to eat lunch with me, and then eventually asking him on the first date. I know what you may be thinking "Man this chick is crazy"; but I knew what I wanted and I went for it. Look what happened now ! I'm in the happiest relationship of my life simply because I took things into my own hands. So take Michael's advice, because he is telling the truth. Use your womanly independence, and get what you want sista.



Stay Majestic*